I dont hate.

I dont care.

I dont want to care.


caring for anyone sucks. Im trying to be mature and a grownup. i cant. Im the spolied little brat i have always been... the only thing changing is my body rotting at increasing speed.

I am rotten today. I slept i dyed black sheets... which ended in me waking up in stained greenish black covering my skin

Make it worse. I woke up late for the last class of my thesis project... i look now as if i hadnt got bath in mulife... i have black all over me and my face.... i wouldnt come up with soap and water... I had tu use my sisters foundation to try and cover it up a little. When i saw the mirror I looked like an expectacularly representation of the undead... like a decaying corpse, an unhealthy green covering my eyes. I got to clas... the teacher did not come.

The excessive make up is way to noticeable... my hair it so dirty, havent washing it in days... its sticky and oily... but straight. When its straight, its sooks like if i have less hair than i do... and i cant help but covering up with a hat... I hate hats. Why not curly? lets just say its doesnt become me.

A bit nauseated from life and myself... nauseated from everyone around me... I need a long bath. and then Another one.

I am in decay... I cant say i care enough to fight it... i just want nature to run it curse and take me away with it. Nature is neither sad nor happy... its just contemplative... I need to let the old good nateure take its course. I cant fight it. I cant. I dont care enough to do it

I dont care

I hate myself.